Multi-Generational Travel-
How to make memories without being miserable
By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach
Two vans and three generations covered over 2500 miles of America last summer with one goal, celebrating the 50th anniversary of my in-laws in an unforgettable way in New York City.
We knew it would require every possible strategy to take a potentially stressful time over a few weeks and turn it into a successful family memory. Traveling is always a challenge because things never quite work out the way you had planned; that's why multigenerational travel requires more time, talk and trust. Here's how it worked for our family.
More Time-
Planning is the key to avoiding a lot of pressure. This means mapping out details months in advance, researching on the Internet to see what options are available, budgeting for special events and tours, contacting AAA for maps and travel updates on road construction and recommended sites, securing hotel reservations, allowing time for rest days was also an important factor for both grandparents and grandkids alike. (We did a long day, then took a day off to rest up before the next long day's events.)
The more stress you can resolve through pre-planning before you head down the highway, the better time you will have when you get there.
More Talk-
We had family meetings months in advance to review the details of each leg of our trip, talk through our expectations of each stop on the trip and what each generation might like best. That took some time since personalities and personal preferences further complicated what everyone would consider to be ‘fun’. Then we talked through how to rotate those expectations into the events we wanted to experience to keep everyone engaged and connected together. We voted on certain places during those family meetings and voted against others.
This was done after family meals, regular emails and occasional phone calls. It was almost as much fun talking about what we wanted to do and see as it was to actually visit there! Sort of like multiplying the positive benefits of the vacation over many months by talking through what we wanted to remember about our trip instead of just rapidly running through event after event over a few weeks.
More Trust-
The payoffs in creating a positive multigenerational experience are huge, but the risks are equally huge. You have to be realistic in considering many factors to insure that this will be a great trip for every one involved. Pay attention to every factor you are facing… healthcare needs, age of children, diapers, medications, amount of walking or stairs at each stop, costs of activities, number of meals, weather or travel conditions and especially the personalities of all those involved. Another factor to trust may be who not to bring on the journey, since some personalities are so abrasive or some people have so much emotional baggage that traveling cross-country would be a disaster by mile-marker 25.
Learn to trust the rest of your family enough to be honest and direct about potential problems ahead of time, since it's way better to work on solving issues with people or vehicles now than it is to be broken down on the side of the road hearing “I told you so" while waiting for a tow-truck on the road.
Finally, seriously listen to the other members of your family! If they all believe that something sounds dull and boring, trust their input and look for other options instead of pushing your point of view and losing trust with the people you love most.
Remember a multi-generational trip is about building stronger memories and better family relationships, not wrecking them by being miserable.
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About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture.
