Sunday, May 31, 2009

Grandfather’s Story -Storms make you Stronger
By: Dwight Bain

The last few years of major hurricanes seem to have brought out the worst in nature and the best in people since there were countless stories of how neighbors connected to each other as neighbors to recover after the storms. Yet, I believe the greatest stories are the ones that will be told a generation from now. Stories like this one between an aged grandfather and his grandkids during a fierce afternoon thunderstorm some sixty years from now.



Picture the old man distracting the frightened children from the wind and rain outside by sitting them down to tell about the time that he and his daddy made it through the "Monster Storm Season back in '04". How his family reached out to help the people in the neighborhood get back on their feet after being knocked flat with 100MPH winds because they were too overwhelmed to make it back up alone.



The grandkids sit wide-eyed in anticipation of a story from their poppa. He takes a breath while balancing a sleeping grandbaby on one arm while pulling the little ones close with the other. He comforts them with the calming sound of his words and the peaceful connection that only grandparents have with grandkids. As he begins to talk about his experience he gets overwhelmed with emotion and his voice chokes a bit as his eyes mist up with tears. The painful memories come alive again as he describes the terrible destruction he saw after the storms when he was a little boy, barely older than they are now.



He tells them of thousands of houses with roofs ripped right off, cars crushed by trees the size of trucks, airplanes tossed around like little toys, traffic lights ripped from cables and shattered into tiny pieces scattered by the hammering winds and pounding rain. How it was so dark and lonely when the lights went out and the TV silenced, followed by the crashing sounds of things breaking outside and how his momma cried and held them all close, and how his daddy prayed for safety while the dogs howled at the darkness.



He told them how his whole family, cats and dogs and all spent the night huddled up in the laundry room waiting for the sun to shine and for things to get back to normal. The sun came, but normal never did. Nothing was the same after those terrible storms hit; nothing would ever be the same.



When he went outside the first time, he saw the big trees in the backyard that once had been the perfect place for a boy to climb and imagine grand adventures now splintered and tossed in every direction. Some limbs from those mighty trees had crashed across the back fence and were in the neighbor’s pool, some limbs were burying most of their house and others had pulled the electric power lines all the way to the ground. Out front it was worse. The whole neighborhood looked like it had been bombed by terrorists.



Roofs ripped off people's houses were tossed everywhere, their street was blocked by dozens of big trees and power poles and there were pieces of tool sheds and back porches scattered around like confetti after a party. Their basketball net had crashed through the windshield of his daddy's pickup and there was no way to raise the garage door because there was no electricity. It was sunny outside, and starting to get hot like any summer day in central Florida- but inside it just wasn't right... something just wasn't right.



The tears flowed freely down the old man’s face as he remembered how his daddy had rolled up his sleeves and clinched his jaw and dug in with the strength of a man who loved deeply. Loved deep enough to lose sleep over helping strangers. Loved strong enough to do without to give to someone facing greater problems than his. Loved great enough to model what his faith was about in such a real way that anyone could see that he loved his God openly by living out what he believed.



Integrity shined forth with every cut of his chain-saw and it was easy to see that the monster storm didn't crush his daddy- the monster storm challenged him and drew something courageous out of him. It was like something in the monster storm only made him stronger. The old man's face brightened as he explained how his daddy taught him that faith is about what you do- not what you say. And real faith isn't even discovered until you need it the most.



Just then a sudden flash of lightening followed by a roaring clap of thunder startled all of them and even woke the baby up crying as the lights flickered in the home. Grandfather gave them all a comforting squeeze, while calming the baby down and then went back to telling the story. His face tensed as he described the weeks of hard work to dig out from under the damage brought on by a series of killer storms.



How that the hard work of clearing trees and debris was made harder because of the wave after wave of dark skies that threatened yet another storm and how each one terrified him more. He described living in continual fear of the next monster storm coming back to crush the few trees left on their street and of being so scared that the storms might one day take his daddy away too.



The old man paused for a minute, then he took a deep breath that calmed his voice and told them about how those terrible hurricanes actually connected he and his father together in some unusual ways. He described how he watched his daddy deal with each storm and how he had learned from him how to press on and not whine and keep going, especially when it was so hot and so hard to go on.



He misted up as he remembered his daddy teaching him that God allows storms to test you. To shape you and show you what you believe. His daddy taught him how to go from being a boy to becoming a man by standing up to the storms of life. Standing tall beside his greatest teacher and greatest friend, because standing next to his father during those storms had taught him how to stand up to life.



And then the old man sighed from somewhere deep inside as his face relaxed and the tears rolled down his cheeks as he told how they got through it together as a father and son. How their family made it together mostly because of that- they were together. It didn't matter the circumstances. Sometimes they were together working through the heat and discomfort to rebuild the things that matter the most in this life- family... friends... churches... schools... hospitals... and how that year, way back in 2004 when their family came together with some others to pitch in and rebuild a whole neighborhood.



Not only that, but how his dad and some men from their church went out of their way to help some small businesses hit hard by the storm, not for money, or politics or power or fame, but because it was the right thing to do-to come alongside and help another man provide for his family too.



Quietly refreshed, the old man feels renewed inside. Energized by doing what others had done for him- finishing his journey well so the next generation could learn how to live strong. Teaching them how to face pressures today, so they might one day pass along this secret to the next generation- The best place in life to find strength is in the storms. Strength always comes from the storms.



Reprint Permission- If this article was helpful you are invited to share it electronically or in print with your own list at work or church, forward it to friends and family or post it on your own site or blog. Just leave it intact and do not alter it in any way. Please include the following paragraph in your reprint and thanks for helping us to help others by spreading the word. "Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group, www.LifeWorksGroup.org eNews (Copyright, 2004-2009, by the LifeWorks Group)"

About the author- Dwight Bain is a Nationally Certified Counselor and Critical Incident Stress Expert for the Orange County Sheriff’s Office as well as other emergency service agencies. He and his family are life-long residents of Orlando. Access more resources on overcoming the crisis of natural disasters by visiting his blog of counseling resources at www.StormStress.com
Grandfather’s Story -Storms make you Stronger
By: Dwight Bain

The last few years of major hurricanes seem to have brought out the worst in nature and the best in people since there were countless stories of how neighbors connected to each other as neighbors to recover after the storms. Yet, I believe the greatest stories are the ones that will be told a generation from now. Stories like this one between an aged grandfather and his grandkids during a fierce afternoon thunderstorm some sixty years from now.



Picture the old man distracting the frightened children from the wind and rain outside by sitting them down to tell about the time that he and his daddy made it through the "Monster Storm Season back in '04". How his family reached out to help the people in the neighborhood get back on their feet after being knocked flat with 100MPH winds because they were too overwhelmed to make it back up alone.



The grandkids sit wide-eyed in anticipation of a story from their poppa. He takes a breath while balancing a sleeping grandbaby on one arm while pulling the little ones close with the other. He comforts them with the calming sound of his words and the peaceful connection that only grandparents have with grandkids. As he begins to talk about his experience he gets overwhelmed with emotion and his voice chokes a bit as his eyes mist up with tears. The painful memories come alive again as he describes the terrible destruction he saw after the storms when he was a little boy, barely older than they are now.



He tells them of thousands of houses with roofs ripped right off, cars crushed by trees the size of trucks, airplanes tossed around like little toys, traffic lights ripped from cables and shattered into tiny pieces scattered by the hammering winds and pounding rain. How it was so dark and lonely when the lights went out and the TV silenced, followed by the crashing sounds of things breaking outside and how his momma cried and held them all close, and how his daddy prayed for safety while the dogs howled at the darkness.



He told them how his whole family, cats and dogs and all spent the night huddled up in the laundry room waiting for the sun to shine and for things to get back to normal. The sun came, but normal never did. Nothing was the same after those terrible storms hit; nothing would ever be the same.



When he went outside the first time, he saw the big trees in the backyard that once had been the perfect place for a boy to climb and imagine grand adventures now splintered and tossed in every direction. Some limbs from those mighty trees had crashed across the back fence and were in the neighbor’s pool, some limbs were burying most of their house and others had pulled the electric power lines all the way to the ground. Out front it was worse. The whole neighborhood looked like it had been bombed by terrorists.



Roofs ripped off people's houses were tossed everywhere, their street was blocked by dozens of big trees and power poles and there were pieces of tool sheds and back porches scattered around like confetti after a party. Their basketball net had crashed through the windshield of his daddy's pickup and there was no way to raise the garage door because there was no electricity. It was sunny outside, and starting to get hot like any summer day in central Florida- but inside it just wasn't right... something just wasn't right.



The tears flowed freely down the old man’s face as he remembered how his daddy had rolled up his sleeves and clinched his jaw and dug in with the strength of a man who loved deeply. Loved deep enough to lose sleep over helping strangers. Loved strong enough to do without to give to someone facing greater problems than his. Loved great enough to model what his faith was about in such a real way that anyone could see that he loved his God openly by living out what he believed.



Integrity shined forth with every cut of his chain-saw and it was easy to see that the monster storm didn't crush his daddy- the monster storm challenged him and drew something courageous out of him. It was like something in the monster storm only made him stronger. The old man's face brightened as he explained how his daddy taught him that faith is about what you do- not what you say. And real faith isn't even discovered until you need it the most.



Just then a sudden flash of lightening followed by a roaring clap of thunder startled all of them and even woke the baby up crying as the lights flickered in the home. Grandfather gave them all a comforting squeeze, while calming the baby down and then went back to telling the story. His face tensed as he described the weeks of hard work to dig out from under the damage brought on by a series of killer storms.



How that the hard work of clearing trees and debris was made harder because of the wave after wave of dark skies that threatened yet another storm and how each one terrified him more. He described living in continual fear of the next monster storm coming back to crush the few trees left on their street and of being so scared that the storms might one day take his daddy away too.



The old man paused for a minute, then he took a deep breath that calmed his voice and told them about how those terrible hurricanes actually connected he and his father together in some unusual ways. He described how he watched his daddy deal with each storm and how he had learned from him how to press on and not whine and keep going, especially when it was so hot and so hard to go on.



He misted up as he remembered his daddy teaching him that God allows storms to test you. To shape you and show you what you believe. His daddy taught him how to go from being a boy to becoming a man by standing up to the storms of life. Standing tall beside his greatest teacher and greatest friend, because standing next to his father during those storms had taught him how to stand up to life.



And then the old man sighed from somewhere deep inside as his face relaxed and the tears rolled down his cheeks as he told how they got through it together as a father and son. How their family made it together mostly because of that- they were together. It didn't matter the circumstances. Sometimes they were together working through the heat and discomfort to rebuild the things that matter the most in this life- family... friends... churches... schools... hospitals... and how that year, way back in 2004 when their family came together with some others to pitch in and rebuild a whole neighborhood.



Not only that, but how his dad and some men from their church went out of their way to help some small businesses hit hard by the storm, not for money, or politics or power or fame, but because it was the right thing to do-to come alongside and help another man provide for his family too.



Quietly refreshed, the old man feels renewed inside. Energized by doing what others had done for him- finishing his journey well so the next generation could learn how to live strong. Teaching them how to face pressures today, so they might one day pass along this secret to the next generation- The best place in life to find strength is in the storms. Strength always comes from the storms.



Reprint Permission- If this article was helpful you are invited to share it electronically or in print with your own list at work or church, forward it to friends and family or post it on your own site or blog. Just leave it intact and do not alter it in any way. Please include the following paragraph in your reprint and thanks for helping us to help others by spreading the word. "Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group, www.LifeWorksGroup.org eNews (Copyright, 2004-2009, by the LifeWorks Group)"

About the author- Dwight Bain is a Nationally Certified Counselor and Critical Incident Stress Expert for the Orange County Sheriff’s Office as well as other emergency service agencies. He and his family are life-long residents of Orlando. Access more resources on overcoming the crisis of natural disasters by visiting his blog of counseling resources at www.StormStress.com

Friday, May 29, 2009

Make today count my friends because remember- 'Life is like a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once.'

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Don’t confuse having less with being less, having more with being more, or what you have with who you are. -Noah benShea
Being broke is not the same as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost, and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet -Noah benShea

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm blessed by my family and Godly heritage My parents taught us to love God and to put Him first Without Him you are nothing -CeCe Winans
Paul Samuelson said, "Good questions outrank easy answers." COACHING TIP- ask better questions if you want to discover better solutions

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Andy Beal reports that Twitter dumped TinyURL for bit.ly to create shorter URL�s to maximize 140 character communication

Sunday, May 3, 2009

WANTED:Bold, adventurous souls to accompany me on an exciting voyage off the map.Opportunity of a lifetime will you join me?Columbus, c.1491
�Devote today to something so daring even you can�t believe you�re doing it.� ~ Oprah Winfrey
(So... no matter what you are facing-go bold)
"Oh-I listen more and talk less. You can't learn anything when you're talking" -Bing Crosby, (1904-1977)
"Every man dies, but not every man really lives." �Mel Gibson as William Wallace in "Braveheart"
"Life is not the amount of breaths you take. It's the moments that take your breath away." �Will Smith as Alex "Hitch" Hitchens in "Hitch"

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Then watched Marley & Me with Sheila-if you are a cat person it will make no sense-if you are a dog person it will make you cry like we did
Watched Wolverine this afternoon-if you understand chick-flicks it will make no sense- if you like action adventure movies, you will love it

Friday, May 1, 2009

When you cannot make up your mind between two evenly balanced courses of action, choose the bolder. - W.J. Slim

3 Relationship Strategies to find Happiness

Is Happiness connected to Relationships?
3 Strategies to find fulfillment from the people around you

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Life Coach


Relationships- we all are impacted by them, but have you thought about how much of our happiness actually comes from being in a healthy relationship? MTV did and recently conducted a massive study to see what made their viewers, (ages 14-34) the happiest... and the answer may surprise you. The number one answer by a huge margin was that these young people longed for a connected relationship with their family.

To be happy at home isn't limited to the younger audience either, because USA Today surveyed an older audience a few months back and discovered the same pattern. The majority of people in the United States define happiness more from the health of their relationships than by their income, house, car or job success combined! I believe God designed us to experience connected relationships and so when we are blessed enough to be in one life is great. However, when we are in a struggling relationship it saps the joy and sucks the energy out of life. If you are having the time of your life with the people in your home, rejoice and make some great memories! And if you aren't, then here are some tips to help you find the love and laughter again.

Blended personalities bring value or war

I saw a desk sign once that read, “everyone here brings happiness- some by leaving and some by staying- which are you?” We all have some degree of relationships and we all them- so why does it seem so hard to find healthy ones? Simple, everyone is different, and those differences either make for a wonderful “blending” of people and personalities, or it creates the ingredients of a major war! No one wants more problems, and since everyone is longing for the best relationship possible, so here are some quick tips to help you have healthier relationships.

1) Start with you

Are you taking responsibility to deal with the major issues in your life? For instance, if you know you have a short temper, take ownership of your anger before you begin to look for another group of friends or family that will just “put up” with your behavior. Scripture teaches us to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and “be slow to anger” so start with looking into the mirror of your souls to see what needs attention. Once you see what needs work get busy working on it and if you get stuck, find a coach to help hold you accountable to grow.

2) Do a relationship evaluation

After you have taken bold steps to face your fears and doubts, you should actually sit down and evaluate your current relationships. I suggest that you confidentially list out the key people in your life on a legal pad by name. Start with those closest to you, perhaps parent, child or family relationship, dating or marriage partner boss or co-workers, as well as your spiritual relationship with God.

Pay attention to the strengths of the relationship as well as what needs improvement. As you map out these relationships it will be easy to create a specific action plan. Once you have a plan in hand you can make better decisions about which relationships are working well, and meeting needs in your life, as well as which ones may be a “bottomless pit” of irresponsible behavior and may never grow into a healthy relationship. (There are times that this evaluation process will reveal tremendous problems that require some intensive help from a counselor or clergy member to deal with to make life work better).

3) Prioritize key relationships

Once you have a master list of relationships, you can then quickly see which ones create a source of support and emotional strength so you can regularly nurture them. Too often we take our daily relationships for granted, and spend too much time reaching out to others. Better to spend our emotional energy on staying close to the people that God has placed around us than to abandon those people and try to live life alone.

It won’t be easy to get along with some people in your life, but by taking time to build stronger relationship connections you build greater happiness and fulfillment. Relationships can add value to you today, and for decades to come. Sounds like a great trade for a lifetime of happiness.

Reprint Permission- If this article helped you, you are invited to share it with your own list at work or church, forward it to friends and family or post it on your own site or blog. Just leave it intact and do not alter it in any way. Any links must remain in the article. Please include the following paragraph in your reprint.

"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2009), To subscribe to this valuable weekly resource visit
www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"

About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change.