Showing posts with label orlando. Show all posts
Showing posts with label orlando. Show all posts

Friday, February 10, 2012

Can you really change during a major life crisis?

Change... it is a part of life thatwe don’t like to face. Oh we mayspeculate on what it would be like to live some where else, move to anotherhouse, take another job in another industry, move away from mom and dad, ormarry our 'dream date'. We like to talkabout the big changes that we may go through one day; but let's face it. Most people hate to go through a majorchange. I think we tend to avoid changelike the plague; even though we know in our heads that God will ultimately usechange to grow us into a stronger person through the process. Some ofthe changes in life are predictable. Losing our first tooth, the independence that comes from a driver’slicense, graduation, moving out on our own, and other expected stages oflife. Some changes are not pleasant, butequally common. A new-born baby notsleeping well and the parents struggling to find the energy to cope with theirnew child's continual cries for comfort, siblings fighting with each other,feeling nervous about a job interview, wondering if you will be able to pay fora child’s future education. We thinkabout those changes for years, often with worry, sometimes with a plan on howto cope when the kids leave home, but always with the anticipation that theevent will happen one day. Thesechanges we accept as a part of growing up... of moving forward... even if wedon’t like it. You may be old enough toremember a popular song from the 1960's based on the verse in Ecclesiastes 3 :1 “Thereis a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” God has a plan and purpose for your life, andultimately we know that these predictable stages are a good thing. But what about the changes that we don’tlike. The ones that are unpredictableand painful? Think about the suddenand unpredictable changes in life. Single words tell it all. Death,law-suit, divorce, flood, abuse, hurricane, bankruptcy, flunked, foreclosure,fired. Do we quickly seek to thank Godfor these events. I don’t and suspectthat you don’t either. It is hard to seethe blessing when the change was so unexpected, so sudden, so painful and sohard to figure out. Perhapsthat is why the following words have so much meaning to me. They were spoken by a local mediapersonality, who shared these inspirational words at a banquet where he was thekeynote speaker for the event. It's important to know that hewas speaking that night AFTER he had been fired fromhis day job, yet BEFORE he was allowed to share his firingwith the public. Listen: “After awhile, you learn the subtledifference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You begin to learn that kisses aren’tcontracts and presents aren’t promises. Learn to accept your defeats with head up and eyes open- with the graceof an adult, not the grief of a child. You build your roads on today, becausetomorrow’s roads are too uncertain for plans. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waitingfor someone to bring you flowers. Andlearn you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do haveworth.” Thesewords remind me that God is in control even if my life feels like it is in atotal crisis. I believe that God has aplan for you, a way out of the pain and toward the strength that comes on theother side of a crisis. The rest of thethird chapter of Ecclesiastes includes the following theme that really gives usthe big picture on sudden and unexpected change. ‘He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternityin the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginningto end.” Ibelieve that God has the major changes of our lives mapped out. He knowswhy bad things happen to good people. Sothe next time a major change hurts you, feels scary, or causes you to want torun like crazy- I hope you will try running. Except this time, run toward Him, because in God you will find the peaceyou need in a difficult place. Hispresence will make all the difference to guide you from panic to a place ofinner strength and lasting peace. NOTE: you can freely redistribute this resource, electronically orin print, provided you leave the authors contact information intact in the boxbelow. About the Author: DwightBain has dedicated his life to guide people toward greater resultsas an Author, Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Life Coach inpractice since 1984. He has spoken to over 3,000 groups on the topic of making strategicchange to overcome major stress. He is passionate about positivegrowth and is quoted in over 20 personal development books. Corporate client list- Disney, Toyota, AT&T, Harcourt,SunTrust, DuPont & Bank of America. Organizational client list-US Army, Florida Hospital, American Heart Association, International CriticalIncident Stress Foundation and the American Association of ChristianCounselors. Bain is a Trusted Media Resource on managingmajor change and has been interviewed on hundreds of radio and televisionstations; as well as quoted in over 100 newspapers/websites including: Investor’sBusiness Daily, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Sacramento Bee, AtlantaJournal, Orlando Sentinel, CBN.com, Miami Herald, Newsday, FoxBusiness.com andMSNBC.com Follow Counseling and Coaching insights www.FaceBook.com/dwightbain~ www.linkedin.com/in/dwightbain~ www.Twitter.com/dwightbain ~ www.YouTube.com/LifeworksGroup~http://dwightbain-counselor-coach.blogspot.com/ Accessmore counseling and coaching resources about creating positive change from TheLifeWorks Group (407.647.7005)by visiting their extensive posting of blogs and special reports designedto save you time by strategically solving problems at www.LifeWorksGroup.org

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Motive Based Coaching is the key to Winning at Work

“What does it take to win at work?”

People have asked me that question dozens of times after a keynote speech or radio talk show. They wanted to know the action to take to build a successful life instead of being trapped in long term failure. It's a great question, but since every person faces different challenges there isn't a 100% specific answer that works for every person. A better approach is to focus on the real source of motivation by exploring the underlying motives.

When you discover the motive behind why you want to win at work you will be on track to shaping a strategic approach to speed toward accomplishing goals and avoiding distractions that lead to failure. Here are some key coaching questions to ask yourself-

· Do you want to win at work to deepen your resume to advance your career?
· Does success at work mean making more money to bring home to your family?
· Does career success give you personal meaning and fulfillment?
· Does winning bring you a sense of satisfaction by proving you are the best?

Greater professional success usually gives a person much greater options in their personal life because increased income brings the flexibility to solve problems and control schedules by delegation. Outsourcing to save time and money is a wise use of resources. However, working harder to gain greater self-esteem is a dangerous motivator because it takes major sacrifices of time and energy and can often become a ‘black hole’ of busy activity leading to workaholism.

Career burnout is from an attempt to fill up deep emotional insecurity through aggressive professional activity. Burnout won’t lead to professional success, and sadly is incredibly common among people who haven’t seen the importance of mapping out a realistic career coaching plan to win at work, without losing at home. Finding the Energy for Career Success

So how do you stay motivated to achieve greater career success? Start by dealing with your core values, which can be identified through mapping out your internal motives, since motives lead to motivation. Here are key areas I use to inspire business professionals I've coached to stay focused to win at work while feeling greater energy and fulfillment in the process.

1) Insight
There is a scripture verse I was taught to pray every day, “If any many lacks wisdom let him ask God and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5). If you know that you don’t know the answers, then asking for God’s direction is a wise use of time. Generating insight by asking God to reveal your special gifts and natural ability, regardless of how much you may feel like you are struggling. Everyone has talent and ability at something. It takes insight to see it and then it takes courage to stay focused to light the fire of desire in your heart, especially when you may feel like giving up.

This career coaching approach could begin with some of the people close to you, like a marriage partner, family member or trusted friend because they already know so much about your personality, character, motivation and inner-drives. Asking many questions to gain greater insight will protect against impulsive choices, and insure a greater likelihood of success, so don't be afraid to ask too many questions, but do be afraid to stay silent on this important element.

2) Interests
One you know your gifts, talents, abilities and skills, the next step is to see how those unique gifts could be transferred into something so incredibly interesting that you want to show up and learn more about it every day. There is an old saying that the curious are never bored, which is true. When you are inspired about pursuing something extremely interesting you lose all track of time because you find it so fascinating. Linking your interests with greater insight leads to the next part of the process to win at work.

3) Important
Once you get inspired to pursue the aspects of your job or career calling that are most interesting, the next element to stir up personal motivation is to discover what is most important. What is valuable to you? What has great meaning? What activities or organizations do believe strongly in? Everyone believes in something yet many of us haven’t taken time to explore and discover the core motives that fuel our motivation to create positive change.Now that you have mapped out the key areas that motivate people you are ready for the final stage.

4) IdentityWhen people figure who they are, and what they enjoy doing, they are on track to live out their purpose and have more fun in the process! Perhaps the huge success of many work related reality TV shows, (like American Idol), are because they reveal what many people secretly would like their daily work experience to be - a place that allows them to utilize their creative abilities in an environment that rewards taking big risks to achieve greater results. It’s not hard to stay motivated when you know why you are going to work and it’s not hard to stay in the race to win either. In fact, it makes it easy to move from a fear of failure to moving forward with a new dedication to finish strong!

Now you have the basic career coaching strategies needed to win at work. Yet, even with these insights many people are afraid to try and often give up on the belief that they could have a better life by moving from what I call their ‘day job’ over to fully experiencing their ‘dream job’. Why do they lack career confidence?

Why are they still likely to fail? Here are the hidden motivations that most often lead to losing at work.

Fearful-
Times are tough and many people are afraid about what the economy will do in the future, in fact they can become so frozen in fear they are afraid to try. It’s normal to feel afraid, yet when you are overwhelmed with fear it can often lead to becoming indecisive and totally ‘zoning out.’ Since running away from reality feels easier than facing it for some people they chose to stick their head in the sand and completely deny what’s happening to their industry, (think about how Blockbuster Video failed to make strategic changes with their customers and eventually filed for bankruptcy protection, while competitor organizations like NetFlix and Red Box were thriving).

Some people do this in a passive way and just slowly sink, while others try to avoid reality by using substances or media to escape. Avoiding major change by hiding in fear will lead to a major crisis. Being aware of these dangers and opening up the conversation will help you to ask tough questions to protect yourself when heading toward a dangerous situation.

Frustrated-
This could include marriage partners or coworkers connected to people who are already losing at work, but it’s really more about you. Think about the times you were trying, but it’s just didn't come together. You know you want to finish strong and have a meaningful career, but you feel like you lack the horsepower to really pull out in front of the crowd. When frustration builds up it puts you at great risk, because you face a tough choice. Finish with mediocre results and risk getting laid off or downsized to try again at the next job; or just check out to avoid feeling the pain of not performing to your potential and quit. I’ve especially seen this with highly creative or bright coaching clients who procrastinated until the last minute and then couldn’t finish projects assigned to them. Their frustration often comes out as anger directed toward the closest person to them. It’s not fair, but it happens because they let the frustration take over, which blocks their ability to win at work.

Failing-
Sadly this type of unmotivated person is the easiest to spot because they checked out a long time ago. When someone has reached this level they are so unmotivated they give up on even trying at the most basic of tasks so their resume just reflects a ‘free fall’ down to zero. They totally and completely fail, which crushes their confidence and for many it kills the desire to try again; which leads many coaching clients to give up completely and just drop out on the idea that a meaningful career was ever even a possibility for them.

They are too depleted to even believe that God’s promise spoken through the prophet Jeremiah, ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ (Jeremiah 33:3) is still available to them. I challenge you to face your fears, frustrations and the fear of failing with words of encouragement from God's word. If you take time out daily to meditate on the Bible I believe it will guide you from fear to greater faith by identifying their core motives, and then translating that into the powerful motivation needed to win at work.

You are stronger than you think, but just in case you are feeling beat up by life, listen to the words of Moses in Exodus 14 as a final challenge when feeling unmotivated or scared about your career; “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today...The LORD will fight for you!"

About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is the Executive Director of the International Christian Coaching Association, (ICCA), a Certified Life Coach and Nationally Certified Counselor in practice since 1984 at the LifeWorks Group in Orlando, (http://www.lifeworksgroup.org/) with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. Stay connected with him on social media at www.linkedin.com/in/dwightbain

Friday, January 13, 2012

5 Strategies for a Successful New Year

There are 5 key areas to focus on if you want to actually keep your New Year's Resolutions.

1) READ!
Readers are leaders, so read more if you want a better quality of life. Especailly inspirational passages from the Bible.

2) WATCH!
Invest time with media that makes a positive difference. Biographies on television or in movies can give you courage and a new perspective.

3) LISTEN!
Find positive ...music or motivating messages on the radio or from audio books checked out at the library. Let your drive time become personal growth time.

4) ATTEND!
Find positive energy from local groups of like-minded leaders at church, business networking events or seminars.

5) CONNECT!
The single greatest influence on your life is from others. Birds of a feather really do hang together, so choose your companions wisely since you will take on their characteristics in multiple ways.

So, there you have it. 5 rapid strategies to build a better you in the new year. Now go and use them to have the best time of your life!!!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Growing Stronger through Stressful Changes

Growing Stronger through Change

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach

Change is the only constant element in business and life, so if you haven’t gotten used to it, start now. I say this for the benefit of the many people, (including me) that really don’t care for major life changes...who does? Since most of us are creatures of habit, and have difficulty accepting change, here are a few tips to help you this summer.

Remember, you can’t control the circumstances around you, you can’t control the economy, but you can control you! Start now with this formula for positive change.

1. Wellness comes first
The process of maintaining physical-emotional-relational- and spiritual balance. This will allow you to be your best regardless of the circumstances of changing business environments. (Find a rapid life coaching formula to balance your life personally and professionally in my book, “Destination Success” available from Amazon.com

2. Evaluate your priorities
Most people spend more time planning their summer vacations than they do planning their lives. The rule in business is that most people don’t plan to fail, they just fail to plan. I recommend that you assess your problems, and the plan of action to resolve them on a weekly basis, and make the priority items the ones to be addressed within the next 90 days. A legal pad, or your Outlook project task manager can help you stay organized if you take time to use it! It will save you thousands of dollars, lost time and protect your energy to focus on the activities that will bring the biggest return on the time invested.

3. Listen to winners

You need a mentor, and you need to listen to them. Everyone receives counseling somewhere, (from a friend, professional, counselor, coach, pastor, consultant or family member), however, you must know what your business strengths and weaknesses are, as well as being able to hear correction or criticism in order for an outside source to be able to assist you. No one can figure it out by themselves, so if you don’t have a mentor- go find one since you will become like the people you hang around the most.

4. Live every moment
Don’t get so busy with the details of living that you forget how to live. Life is made up of relationships, and nothing is worth sacrificing the value of life... so celebrate the people and career that God has given you every day. There is no guarantee about tomorrow- so make today count.

Many people fear change and would do anything to avoid it, but by practicing these steps of being “WELL” you can grow through change, gain strength and have the time of your life. Wellness leads to greater success, so take this life-coaching formula and get busy celebrating the things that matter most- and once you master those skills, take a few people along with you on the journey.


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About the author- Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach and Certified Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984 with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He is a professional member of the National Speakers Association and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference in our culture.