Community Crisis Recovery
Guide-
Strategies to rebuild you
and your kids after a tragedy
By
Dwight Bain
Dealing directly with your emotions will reduce the tension and stress on you, which allows you to have more energy to deal with a difficult situation. However, if you stuff your fears and frustrations in a major community crisis, your emotions can quickly blow up without warning. Exploding in rage on your children, your coworkers or your marriage partner will only make a difficult situation worse. Community crisis events are a terrible situation full of loss and difficulty for everyone. By taking action now you can move beyond feeling overwhelmed by intense stress, anger or confusion. As you follow the insight from this recovery guide, you will be taking positive steps to rebuild with the focused energy of an even stronger life for you and your family after the emergency service workers pack up and go home because your community has recovered.
To best survive a major community
crisis, you need a strong combination of three key elements
- healthy
coping skills
- healthy
supports and a
- healthy perspective
While
things will never be the same as they were before the crisis the following guidelines will give you the key
elements needed to get past the overwhelming stress and to find stability again.
What should Parents do
with their Children after they hear about this tragedy?
Ask questions, especially talk about their emotions and fears. Let
them know it's ok to talk about their feelings today, or even weeks from now.
Anytime they are feeling scared it's ok to talk about it. Finally, get your
family back to "normal" quickly... regular routines help people stay
stable during a national crisis. So share lots of love, affection and prayer.
Family is powerful since we are always stronger together than we ever could be
alone.
- What
are the dangerous warning signs of stress overload?
A
major community crisis affects everyone however; it becomes dangerous to our
health when the stress goes on for an extended period of time. Major stress can
affect adults, children, the elderly and even pets, so it is important to be
alert to watch for the danger signs of the psychological condition called,
‘Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder’, (commonly
referred to as PTSD), in yourself, your family members and coworkers. These
symptoms include any dramatic change in emotions, behavior, thought patterns or
physical symptoms over the next few days, weeks or even months. Since community
crisis events are a terribly stressful time for everyone and often remain
stressful for days or weeks to come, there are a number of factors to be aware
of to keep yourself and those who you care about safe.
Stress
Warning Signs-
These signs are indicators that the intense stress from the critical incident is beginning to overwhelm the individual. The longer the stress symptoms occur-the greater the severity of the traumatic event on the individual. This does not imply craziness or personal weakness; rather, it simply indicates that the stress levels from the storm were too powerful for the person to manage and their body is reacting to the abnormal situation of having survived a major trauma.
These signs are indicators that the intense stress from the critical incident is beginning to overwhelm the individual. The longer the stress symptoms occur-the greater the severity of the traumatic event on the individual. This does not imply craziness or personal weakness; rather, it simply indicates that the stress levels from the storm were too powerful for the person to manage and their body is reacting to the abnormal situation of having survived a major trauma.
It’s
normal to feel completely overwhelmed by a community crisis like a mass
shooting or natural disaster; however there are danger signs to watch for in
yourself or others that may indicate psychological trauma. Adults or children
who display any of the following stress symptoms may need additional help
dealing with the events of this crisis. It is strongly recommended that you
seek the appropriate medical or psychological assistance if you see a lot of
the physical, emotional, cognitive or behavioral symptoms listed below in you,
your coworkers, or someone in your family or home, especially if these symptoms
weren’t present before the crisis.
Physical Symptoms:
Chills, thirst, fatigue, nausea, fainting, vomiting, dizziness, weakness, chest pain, headaches, elevated blood pressure, rapid heart rate, muscle tremors, difficulty breathing, shock symptoms, and so on.
Chills, thirst, fatigue, nausea, fainting, vomiting, dizziness, weakness, chest pain, headaches, elevated blood pressure, rapid heart rate, muscle tremors, difficulty breathing, shock symptoms, and so on.
Emotional Symptoms:
Fear, guilt, grief, panic, denial, anxiety, irritability, depression, apprehension, emotional shock, and feeling overwhelmed, loss of emotional control, and so on.
Fear, guilt, grief, panic, denial, anxiety, irritability, depression, apprehension, emotional shock, and feeling overwhelmed, loss of emotional control, and so on.
Cognitive Symptoms:
Confusion, nightmares, uncertainty, hyper-vigilance, suspiciousness, intrusive images, poor problem solving, poor abstract thinking, poor attention/memory and concentration, disorientation of time, places or people, difficulty identifying objects or people, heightened or lowered alertness, and so on.
Confusion, nightmares, uncertainty, hyper-vigilance, suspiciousness, intrusive images, poor problem solving, poor abstract thinking, poor attention/memory and concentration, disorientation of time, places or people, difficulty identifying objects or people, heightened or lowered alertness, and so on.
Behavioral Symptoms:
Withdrawal, antisocial acts, inability to rest, intensified pacing, erratic movements, changes in social activity, changes in speech patterns, loss of or increase of appetite, increased alcohol consumption, and so on.
Withdrawal, antisocial acts, inability to rest, intensified pacing, erratic movements, changes in social activity, changes in speech patterns, loss of or increase of appetite, increased alcohol consumption, and so on.
Take
action now to prevent stress from continuing to overwhelm you or the people you
care about. Call a trusted friend to talk through it, reach out to clergy, or
call your family doctor or counselor. If you don't know someone to call about
these emotional issues, you can reach out for assistance by calling telephone
hotlines which are offered at no cost to you. These numbers are often posted by
local media, hospitals, the American Red Cross, the Salvation Army or FEMA. If
you, or someone you care about are feeling overwhelmed by stress, anxiety,
guilt or grief it's important to make the call for assistance now to learn how
to get past the pressure to begin to feel ‘okay’ again.
- How does a community
crisis event affect kids?
It depends on the age of the child. The younger the child, the more they look to their parents for emotional security and strength. If a Mom or Dad are “shell-shocked" or “numb” and not able to manage their own emotions or responsibilities; the child will feel that pressure and become very confused and further stressed. Remember, it's normal to be overwhelmed by a community crisis like a mass shooting. This is why it's so important to take care of yourself in order to take care of your children and those your care about through the long period of recovery and rebuilding after the storm.
It depends on the age of the child. The younger the child, the more they look to their parents for emotional security and strength. If a Mom or Dad are “shell-shocked" or “numb” and not able to manage their own emotions or responsibilities; the child will feel that pressure and become very confused and further stressed. Remember, it's normal to be overwhelmed by a community crisis like a mass shooting. This is why it's so important to take care of yourself in order to take care of your children and those your care about through the long period of recovery and rebuilding after the storm.
Think
about the advice given on commercial airliners to parents traveling with small
children. “Should there be an unexpected
cabin de-pressurization; oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place the
mask over your nose and mouth like this and then place the mask over the mouth
and nose of those around you needing assistance.” Take care of your own
emotional needs first, and then you will be in a stronger position to help
those around you. If you feel overwhelmed in giving your children or others who
may depend on you for support, please ask for help. It's okay to be tired, worn
out and overly stressed. That's normal after a community crisis.
When you can focus and dedicate attention to understanding the needs of young children, notice what they are saying, drawing or doing to determine if they are still feeling overly stressed from the traumatic event.
School age kids need to talk, draw pictures or take positive action, (like having a lemonade stand to raise money
for kids just like them who may have lost loved ones or family members because
of the traumatic event), so if you give them something to do to help, they
can take positive action and sort through their emotions immediately.
High school age kids may try to act
"cool" about everything, but often are more scared about the changes,
losses and confusion than any other group. They are older and may need to experience
a bit more "reality" at times to loosen up their ability to talk
about what is happening around them. If they are willing to talk to their
siblings, other family members, clergy or counselors it often doesn’t take very
long before they can grow strong enough to deal with their emotions and get
back to feeling like themselves again.
The
greatest danger sign to be alert and aware of is by noticing any dramatic
changes in behavior. If a child was always happy go lucky before the crisis
event and now sits all day to watch video footage of the shooting, or other
world disasters on the news channels- then you may want to figure out why they
made such a dramatic shift in personality. Watch for other major changes in
sleep patterns, school patterns, school performance, peer relations and so on.
If you see major changes that concern you, it's time to seek professional
attention for the child with their pediatrician or with a child behavioral
specialist
You can reach out to children in many ways to help them deal with this stressful time. Talking, writing, drawing, or writing poetry about the experience with the disaster will make the time pass more quickly, and may even lighten someone else's load of emotional pain and difficulty while helping you back through the process. Talking about any crisis event in life can help kids learn the basics of moving from the panic of basic survival to building strengths through problem solving.
- Are there any “hidden
dangers” in media that parents should be concerned about that might make the
crisis worse?
Too much media exposure is dangerous for kids. It is better to get a media "news update" once or perhaps at the most, twice a day to avoid the danger of media over-exposure. Leaving the news on all the time will depress the mood of the person who hears it; since deep down inside we learn to go "numb" to the normal emotions of the stressful event, to press on and burn reserve energy in the process. If your child didn't watch the morning news programs before the community crisis, be cautious about allowing them to watch TV news alone or having long blocks of unaccounted time with too much isolation. Best is to sort through media outlets-like television, Internet, radio or newspapers, which may contain content that is overly stressful or just too depressing for a child. Then set boundaries to protect them from additional stress in media stories, since it is important to protect their home and minds by managing the media around them.
Too much media exposure is dangerous for kids. It is better to get a media "news update" once or perhaps at the most, twice a day to avoid the danger of media over-exposure. Leaving the news on all the time will depress the mood of the person who hears it; since deep down inside we learn to go "numb" to the normal emotions of the stressful event, to press on and burn reserve energy in the process. If your child didn't watch the morning news programs before the community crisis, be cautious about allowing them to watch TV news alone or having long blocks of unaccounted time with too much isolation. Best is to sort through media outlets-like television, Internet, radio or newspapers, which may contain content that is overly stressful or just too depressing for a child. Then set boundaries to protect them from additional stress in media stories, since it is important to protect their home and minds by managing the media around them.
It's
wise to move from negatives to positives in highly charged and difficult
situations like a mass shooting or wide spread community disaster. We have all
seen enough negative images to last a lifetime and yet the media will often
play scenes from a disaster over again and again. Also, parents and kids can
sit down and discuss why they really need to have so many media and
entertainment services available in their homes. Many families found that not
having the Internet, cable television and loud music playing in their homes
while staying in a shelter allowed them to reconnect as a family with much
greater communication. By sitting down and discussing these issues your home
can be a more positive place, by creating more positive energy to manage the
stress of recovering from this crisis situation.
Since
watching other people’s problems in other parts of the country will cause more
stress in an already stressful situation it's better to focus on your
responsibilities today, right here in your own community. When things in your
life are strong again, you and your family won't be as affected by the images
of crisis from other places. But that's another day, so for now as you recover,
it’s better to focus on getting you and your kids though the day that you have
been handed without making it harder because of the hidden stress of media
overexposure.
- How
can I help my family get back to “normal” after a community disaster?
It may take weeks or months for people to feel that things are back to “normal.” The actual psychological impact of the storm will vary widely between people based on factors like- age, their previous experiences with crisis events and most significantly how much stress they already had in their life before the disaster. The more stress someone had in their life prior to the traumatic event, the longer it takes to recover.
It may take weeks or months for people to feel that things are back to “normal.” The actual psychological impact of the storm will vary widely between people based on factors like- age, their previous experiences with crisis events and most significantly how much stress they already had in their life before the disaster. The more stress someone had in their life prior to the traumatic event, the longer it takes to recover.
Here
are some immediate ways to bring order and calmness back into your life after
the chaos and confusion that follows a natural disaster or community crisis
like a mass shooting.
1) Reconnect in relationships -
You can't get through a crisis alone. Since we all were impacted differently, it is vitally important to talk about the stress and pressures you have experienced with the people closest to you. Reach out to friends and family as soon as possible, and call people you haven't heard from in a while. Just checking in to see if they are okay will only take a few minutes, but it will empower and help both of you. Simply talk about what each of you experienced through the crisis and how you got through it. Tremendous connection can occur through crisis, so this is an especially good time to reach out to friends or family who may have drifted away from your closest circle of relationships. Take action now to reach out to people with words of encouragement and support, but don't wait for someone else to call you- since their phone may not work! Go find them and then reconnect the relationship while helping each other rebuild.
You can't get through a crisis alone. Since we all were impacted differently, it is vitally important to talk about the stress and pressures you have experienced with the people closest to you. Reach out to friends and family as soon as possible, and call people you haven't heard from in a while. Just checking in to see if they are okay will only take a few minutes, but it will empower and help both of you. Simply talk about what each of you experienced through the crisis and how you got through it. Tremendous connection can occur through crisis, so this is an especially good time to reach out to friends or family who may have drifted away from your closest circle of relationships. Take action now to reach out to people with words of encouragement and support, but don't wait for someone else to call you- since their phone may not work! Go find them and then reconnect the relationship while helping each other rebuild.
2) Rebuild your routines-
This is one of the most important factors to quickly get life back on track because we all draw strength and security from a structured daily routine. Bed time, dinner time, getting up to go to school, or work, or church or the gym to work out. To regain strength quickly identify what your normal routines were before the crisis-and then get back to them as soon as possible. Even if you are staying in a hotel, shelter or with family members for a while, stick with the rituals that you have typically followed that make up your daily lifestyle. This way you will feel the comfort of your stable and predictable routines, regardless of the stress of the many changes happening around you.
This is one of the most important factors to quickly get life back on track because we all draw strength and security from a structured daily routine. Bed time, dinner time, getting up to go to school, or work, or church or the gym to work out. To regain strength quickly identify what your normal routines were before the crisis-and then get back to them as soon as possible. Even if you are staying in a hotel, shelter or with family members for a while, stick with the rituals that you have typically followed that make up your daily lifestyle. This way you will feel the comfort of your stable and predictable routines, regardless of the stress of the many changes happening around you.
In times of crisis everyone believes in the power of prayer and the importance of their faith. There is tremendous strength in knowing what you believe and living in harmony with those beliefs and values. Plugging back into your faith after a community crisis will allow you to release anxiety over the things that you know are too big for you, because you can trust God to handle them. Dedicate a few minutes or perhaps even an hour per day to quiet mediation and reflection on what matters most if you want to continue to grow strong in spite of the crisis.
This
is especially important when you or your children may feel lost, alone or
afraid. God cares and taking time to pray and release those burdens will help
you make it through the rest of your day. Many churches and houses of faith
have chaplains, recovery teams, support services and even financial assistance
available to help their members cope with the crisis. Helping others in need is
one of the greatest ways people of faith model what they believe, so avoid the
tendency of being “too nice” to ask for help if you need it. Having a committed
personal faith combined with the connection of a local house of worship will
give you a tremendous sense of community to get through this crisis as well as
the ones to come.
4) Retell your story-
Young and old alike will benefit from hearing about how other people survived the trauma they experienced. There is tremendous power in telling your story; healing power for you and helpful power for others who will gain insight and strength by hearing how creative people can become through the crisis. As you speak up about what happened, it will make it easier for other family members or coworkers to talk about their feelings of loss as well. Things will never be the same as before, but life will go on and we can rebuild and get through it better together. Telling your story now will give you additional strength as well as connect you to the neighbors and friends as they share their story with you.
Young and old alike will benefit from hearing about how other people survived the trauma they experienced. There is tremendous power in telling your story; healing power for you and helpful power for others who will gain insight and strength by hearing how creative people can become through the crisis. As you speak up about what happened, it will make it easier for other family members or coworkers to talk about their feelings of loss as well. Things will never be the same as before, but life will go on and we can rebuild and get through it better together. Telling your story now will give you additional strength as well as connect you to the neighbors and friends as they share their story with you.
Remember,
no matter what the size of crisis event, you can find strength on the other
side. Following the action steps in this resource guide will allow you to begin
building strength back into your personal and professional life no matter how
big the crisis event was. As you grow stronger you can tell others, which will
encourage them to press on as they rebuild their lives, right next to yours.
Stronger people create stronger communities and that is the journey you have
already begun. I encourage you to stay with it as you build an even stronger
life after the crisis, and then reach out to others in rebuilding your
community with hope and compassion.
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About
the author-
Dwight Bain is dedicated to helping people achieve greater results. He is a
Nationally Certified Counselor and Certified Life Coach in practice since 1984
with a primary focus on solving crisis events and managing major change. He and
his wife Sheila are lifelong residents of Orlando where they live with their
two children and Yorkie. Find more
resources to help you and your family by following his counseling and life
coaching resources which he posts frequently online at any of these social
media sites: www.Twitter.com/DwightBain
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